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How to be yourself? We often search for this question on google. We often hear from the world like be what you are, be yourself, be original, don’t try to be something you cannot be and don’t fake it.
There are certain factors in life due to which sometimes we tend to be someone else. Let’s analyse what these factors are.
Why we tend to shy away with our own self?
1) Changing World. The world is changing fast and we don’t know how to match the speed of the changing world. Therefore, at times when we are confused whether to be like this or like that, we lose yourself.
For example, you see everyone in the world is using costly iPhone and to match the trends you too try to buy a costly iPhone even if it’s not in the budget. Because of this the hard earned money may get wasted or there have been cases where people have committed crimes just for the sake of owning a costly possession.
2) Influence. Sometimes we try influence other people and make them believe that you are not what they think of you. You try to make extra efforts in being like other people, but you don’t enjoy that and because of this confusion you lose yourself.
For example, you might try to impress anyone with fake accent. Because you are faking, the person who knows the actual accent can immediately make out that you are doing wrong.
3) Expectations. Sometimes due to expectations of people you tend go away from your actual self. To meet the expectations of family and friends, you forget that this is not you.
For example, you try to do your best for the family. But sometimes your family expects that from your next business trip you are going to bring lots of gifts. This raise in expectation gives you a panic attack and you tend to lose yourself either by buying unnecessary stuff or getting irritated. The entire loss is yours and it’s you who gets affected by this most.
What are the affects of faking your personality?
1) Bad Image. Because of not being yourself or true to yourself, you get highlighted in-front of the people as dual personality. People see you as a fake personality and because of this they try to avoid you.
For example, just to be cool you said to your gang that you like to party a lot and can handle the drinks easily. But in reality when party happens and people sees the real you and see that you were lying that you can handle the drinks, they set a bad image of you in their mind. This image is too tough to be changed and equally tough is to accept you in the gang.
2) Wrong company. Because of not being to yourself, you might end up in a wrong company where people can take undue advantage of yours.
For instance, you want to show people, how cool is doing drugs! You forget that it’s not real you and you might end up in jail for your entire life, but still just to prove to other people you go in the wrong direction. Problem- you might get addicted to drugs, lose all your money, get landed in jail or even face death.
3) Relationship Fail. If you are not true to yourself, you might have to lose your loved ones. You might end up hurting the people who care for you.
For instance: you see other people that how badly they behave with their wife. You don’t like this behaviour of them, but there is possibility that you might start behaving like them. Thus, from being a nice loving guy, you become a guy full of hatred. You start coming home late like others, you shout unnecessarily and you stop caring for them. Results! your loved ones will end up leaving you and hurting you just because of not being to true to yourself.
1) Don’t rush. Just don’t rush into anything flashy that comes towards you. See the things, analyse them, see what’s in it for you and make the judgement. Don’t rush, take your time and then make a move. Ask questions! Ask yourself, ask family members, ask your wife, ask your teacher, mentor, professor, doctor, anyone…..Ask ME!!.WHY? HOW? WHAT? WHERE? You will get the answers.
For example, If you see people buying this costly iPhone and you also gets tempted by it, follow these steps –
a) Breathe. Breath in and Breath out. Take 10 deep breaths in and out.
b) This will clear your mind. Now see where are you standing? Observe the surroundings. Do you see any rat race happening at your place?
You say No!
c) Then sit down and ask QUESTIONS:
Why do you need this much costly phone?Is it because of the world or is it because you actually need it! Sit. Relax. Decide!
Got your answer?
What you are going to do with this phone? Does these high end features matter to you! Or you are going to just play Pokemon? 😉 . Sit. Relax. Decide.
How are you going to pay for this phone? Do you have enough budget!, Do you have any other priority like kids school fees or wife’s birthday party or a gift for mom! Sit. Relax. Decide.
Where can you utilise this much money or even partial money? Consider the price, brand, features. If you are getting same specifications in the same price, wouldn’t that phone a better choice!, May be you can save money and utilise it on paying your loans or put it under your savings! Sit. Relax. Decide.
2) Be Content. Yes, be content for what you have. God has given you enough to survive. You don’t need to show off and be fake to anyone. You live for yourself and on your conditions, just because of impressing someone don’t plan for the unnecessary and expensive possessions.
3) Values Inherited by You. Check within yourself and ask what are your morals and values you have been standing all over your life. What are the teachings of your parents and teachers that made you a better person. I am sure this bling bling and shiny world is not enough to break your values. Value your values and you will be yourself.
4) Inner Peace. Check within yourself and ask what are the conflicts you are facing that are shaking you to become a person you are not meant to be. Try to talk to people and resolve your internal conflicts. There is nothing in this world that cannot be shared or resolved. Try to get answers. Be in peace with your inner-self.
5) Stop Criticising Yourself. Yes, have a belief that you are good in every-way and be positive about yourself. Being positive will make you confident and people will like this actual you. For every-work you do, give your 100% and say to yourself, this day is going to be the best day ever. People who criticises you should not be given any attention.
6) Meditate. Yes, when in doubt, close your eyes and meditate. You will get your answers. It will help in clearing your mind and focus on important real world issues. It is due to the lack of focus that we seek pleasure somewhere else and tend to become someone else. Once you get back your focus, you will be real you and happy you.
7) Gratitude. Yes, this is the most powerful tool that lots of people underestimate. Why because they tend to forget the blessings and positivism what one get after greeting someone, saying thank you to all the people and thank god for everything. Show gratitude to all the important people in your life and they won’t let you go anywhere else. In the lovable company you will be always yourself. Gather blessings and thank God everyday and tell god that you are thankful for this day and you are going to make this day an awesome day.
8) Be realistic, don’t try to please everyone. Yes, keep only quality friends and don’t try to please anyone you see. Keep the important ones intact by showering love and care on them. Furthermore, if you try to please everyone, you may end loosing the real ones. You cannot meet everyone’s expectations and it is perfectly OK. It’s your life and you make decisions to please yourself not just any other person. Once you know that you cannot please everyone, you will be yourself
9) Keep you sense of humour intact. Yes, don’t just be that guy who doesn’t laugh and play because of his ego. Laugh out loud, play around, be childish and let people know your killer sense of humour. Furthermore, once people sees the real you, you won’t bother yourself to live like others and they will want to be like you instead.
10) Don’t be selfish. Yes, don’t just live for yourself. Help others and let people see the real you. The more you showcase yourself as a good person, the more people will change perception for you. Once you see the world respecting the real you, I am sure you wouldn’t want to change that. Everyone wants enjoy the company of selfless and true person.
These are the top 10 ways I thought might be helpful in knowing the real you. Please let me know your comments if you want to add any points. I will make sure to add them in my next article with your name in it.
Be Awesome. Cheers.
Be Yourself! Everyone else is already taken
Perfect And Morning Eh!…Can these be two words together?
Sure they can be together. In addition, you will enjoy this routine.
But I have always thought Morning as boring, lazy, and gloomy event. In addition, what special difference this article is going to make? You may ask!
Well this article is going to list down the best ways to kick-start your morning routine and make it perfect.
Let’s see what we have it in here:
Start Slow. Start Slow? eh!..What do you mean start slow? I mean don’t rush into everything you want to do in the morning. Take it slow and let the world move its own pace. Give yourself extra time by trying to wake up early at-least half an hour before your normal wake up time.
Ya Ya!..As if it is easy to jump out bed every morning!..Easy to say then doing actually doing it.
Yes, I agree it’s not easy to to jump out of bed immediately and start the day. But with daily practice, I promise that you can be a morning person and wake up as early as you want. Take it slowly and steadily by reducing your sleep time by 5 minutes for a week. Reduce another 5 minutes next week. You may want to get in to bed early as well so that you compensate your morning sleep and feel fresh. Consequently you will change your habit and will wake up early.
Ok!..So I wake up, what’s next!
Freshen Up. Yes, run to your washroom and wash your face and freshen up. This is the critical part because this will decide where you are going to head next – back to bed or face the world. Again, take it slowly, don’t rush. Enjoy the fresh water splash on your face, see yourself in the mirror and say to yourself – I am going to rule the world (if you are still unmarried 😉 ) or I am going to make sure that today is going to be an awesome day.
Drink Warm Water. Your body needs lots of water after waking up and specially after the whole night sleep you need it water to improve your immune system. Please make sure that you drink a lot of water as soon as you wake up to keep your body hydrated and balanced. Furthermore, if you are comfortable with warm water, drink it warm and I can promise you that your immunity will be very strong due to which you won’t fell ill easily. In addition to this, you can mix honey and lemon to add taste giving you the benefits of natural healing. This will also reduce your weight.
Move your body. Yes, let’s dive into the day and move your body. There are plenty of activities that you can do to move your body:
Go to Gym
Do Some Running
Get ahead with Cycling
The good old Yoga
Basic Home Exercises
These activities will allow the blood to flow, make your heart strong and provide your body the necessary oxygen. Furthermore you will be in best of your shape, your body will feel light and free from rustiness. There are thousands of benefits of exercising. We will cover these topics in detail later on.
Meditate. So far we have been mostly talking about physical health. How about we start some exercise for your busy mind. Your mind runs more than you do entire day. So take extra care of your mind and make sure the mind of yours gets enough energy and peace so that your life during the day is in peace. Take timeout at-least 15 minutes to keep your mind free and clear it from tensions by doing the meditation.
You just have to sit in relax posture and count your breaths. That’s it!..It’s that easy. Believe me 15 minutes of meditation a day will make you feel divine. You will be able to see your thoughts more clearly, you will be happier then ever, and appreciate your loving ones. There are many benefits of meditation. We will cover the benefits and method of meditation in detail later on.
Take care of your body and mind. Now let’s move on to provide your body some energy to carry on the days work.
Shower. It’s time to take a shower. Take a cold shower. The after shower feeling is one of the best in the world. You feel so refreshed and all ready to take on the world.
Healthy Breakfast. After shower, it’s time to take healthy breakfast. As doctors say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. So please make sure that you don’t skip it and eat a lot of quality food. You can eat lots of fruits, veggies, smoothies, milk, eggs. Please make sure that your breakfast contains good proteins.
We will discuss more on breakfasts in later posts. We will share sample meal plans and good tasty recipes. Stay tuned.
Writing. This is one habit that you should include in your morning schedule. Keep a journal, notepad, Bujo, Excel templates, sticky notes, anything you like, but please write something.
Write how are you feeling and how will you approach your day. Also write your top most priorities of the day. Add these priorities in your planner. Prepare your plan for the day and make sure you follow it till the very end. Do not stop without completing your Most Important Tasks. Writing will clear your mind. Once you dump your thoughts on paper or some application you will clear your mind from clutter and will focus on your task one by one. We will discuss on this topic in detail later on.
Reading. I am sure you will be tempted to check your mails, Facebook, and News by now. But not just yet. Control for few more minutes and give your time for an effective reading. This habit of yours will generate ideas, motivate you, inspire you and will make ready to fight this competent world.
It’s not required to read an entire book at one go. Read small pages but effective pages. Even 20 pages a day will make you awesome.
Gratitude. Finally show gratitude.Often we are so busy that we forget the beauty around us and the God who has created all this for us. Appreciate the almighty every morning. Furthermore, thank your family and friends and make them feel special.
Thank your office colleagues and your boss (ya ya, there are times 😉 ) for providing you good and fighting opportunities in life and supporting on your judgements.
Goals. In addition, with all these early morning schedule, keep an eye on your Goals as well. Please make sure that at-least one goal of yours is covered in the morning habit and you are able to achieve goals such as reducing weight, becoming a writer, targeting a marathon run, or tour de france for that matter. Nothing is impossible if your Morning schedule is effective.
Please let me know your suggestions in the comments section and also let me know, how do you approach your morning and I will make sure cover your points with your name in my next posts whenever we dive into detailed habits.
B e. A w e s o m e. Thanks for reading 🙂
Always remember the feeling if not the actual tasks /habits. If you are planning to live your life in a better way and sometimes gets stuck/ bored/ lazy to exercise, meditate, work hard on priorities, changing habits, read, write, etc.
Then one of the things I do is to feel the moment when I finished my:
- Finishing my work priorities
- Daily plan setup
After realising this feeling, I get motivated enough to carry on these good things. For instance:
- With exercise, I feel light and free from rustiness
- With meditation, my mind feels so calm and focussed
- With finishing my MITs (Most Important Tasks), I feel so accomplished and charged up
- With reading, I feel to gain some wisdom and insight
- With writing, I feel creative and free
- With proper plan and completing my daily checklist, I feel on top of the world
How about feeling moment when you ran 5 miles?
How about the feel when you thanked someone and shown some gratitude?
How about the feeling when ate healthy food?
How about the feel when you meditated in the sound of rain falling on the leaves?
How about the feeling when people appreciated your new toned look?
Remember these feelings? I am sure you do. So carry on these good habits and don’t procrastinate on them.
Finish! What you Start. Yes! If you have started a habit to loose the weight, then wake up with the awesome feeling of how healthy and fresh you would feel if have lost your weight as per the set target. This feel will get you going and you will be able to finish what you have started.
Do let me know how are you feeling now?
Thanks for reading.
B e A w e s o m e 🙂
The Procrastinator! Well! If there would have been a movie named – “The Procrastinator“, I am sure I would’ve been the hero of this movie. But what would’ve been the plot of the movie?
The procrastinator would’ve stuck in the grim loop and would find the method of breaking it. Will he be able to succeed? Let’s find out!
Procrastination means the action of delaying or postponing something. Something means, like:
– Office work tasks
– Calling someone
– Replying to mails
– Household works
– Booking a ticket
– Cooking the necessary meals
– Writing a Blog or a Book
– Studies and other things….
When I said, I am the hero of “The Procrastinator”, I was very serious about it.
You know, I am the one who put PRO in the procrastination. Because I play it like Pro-League championship! Huh!
I even procrastinated for writing the article on procrastination! How worse could it go!
Procrastination should not be confused with reasonable delay. If there is a task that you have to do it, then delaying it with a reason that you would be completing it when you have extra time is fine.
However, if you are postponing the activity and saying to yourself that,
“I will be finishing this one hour work at 3:00pm exact after I see this youtube video”, this is a procrastination. If you do this too, then congratulations you are “The Procrastinator” :).
What happens after this is your clock strikes 3.05pm and you say yourself,
“Oh God!, I was supposed to start working by 3:00PM and now it’s 3:05PM, I will start my work at sharp 4:00PM”
and then you again make yourself busy in other non-important things like watching you tube videos, checking Facebook, checking tweets.
Slowly and slowly you end up in a loop.
…It’s already midnight and you have not finished that one hour work. What happens next?
Next is, you say to yourself, “Oh! its too late now”
and “I am tired”, “I will do it tomorrow, early morning”..
..and then you won’t wake up early and it’s been already one day for that one hour work. Huh!
Conclusion is, you will only finish this one work when you get a mail from your manager or any higher authority. At that time you will be working on multiple projects and you will find difficult to get that one hour to complete that pending task.
Result is, you will say that you are overburdened with work but fail to understand that what increased the burden at the first place.
This Grim loop is the villain of your heroic life. We have to understand why we ended up in this loop. The person who breaks this loop or avoid getting in it, is the actual HERO.
To understand this loop, first understand what is the reason of you being ended up inside this loop:
Your casual mood: Your casual mood always tells you that you are not in your perfect being to do this work..
You expect your mood to change after watching tv, videos, chatting etc..
But that doesn’t happen and you end up being more tired.
To cut this loop, there is are basic peaceful ways, which over the practice can reduce the procrastination. Let’s dive into it:
- Solution A: Remind yourself of the work and it’s importance and how you will feel after that work is finished. Take a sticky note, paste it on your laptop, book, table, on your head, body wherever you want, just paste it and keep it in front of your eyes. Multiple reminders can be put as well. Personal Journal, Sticky Notes, App based reminder, Master To-Do List just anything you feel will make sure that you are aware of the urgency of the work and it’s happiness after you complete it.
- Solution B: BLOCK your access to websites to access during the work. Yes, Block it all! Nothing will happen to the world, believe me!
- Solution C: Try it from the small. For instance if a work requires an hour to be completed and you are delaying it, then promise yourself to me that I will try focusing on the work for initial 5 minutes wholeheartedly and then decide the fate of the work. Just a little nudge and push is sometimes enough to get you started. Make it a habit by remembering the feeling of accomplishment.
- Solution D: Define the deadlines for yourself. Just say it to yourself, “I just need one hour to complete this work” and then I am free and I can chat with my friend as a reward.
Don’t depend on the mood too much. If you are feeling low, cheer up yourself by listening to some music and getting work again!(just don’t end in the listening music loop 😉 ).
Believe me, if you follow any of the steps diligently you will scare the shit out of procrastination.
Let’s all be the hero of Never Back Down. Let’s make a resolution stop being the procrastinator, because he is the villain of your life.
Well, in case you are wondering(or not!..I will say it anyway!) how did I break the grim loop of procrastination in writing this post. I tried Solution C 😉
Be Awesome. Cheers 🙂